I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
