So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
