Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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