my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
