Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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