at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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