I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
