You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Shame - the story of my life.
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