I can text with my tongue
only if we run a train.
done.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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