Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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