I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
