It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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