i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
