That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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