you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
