I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
