forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
