Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
