This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize