bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
