I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
