are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
