Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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