Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
