Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
