We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do vagina's smell?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
