People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
