I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
