I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize