Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
