He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
