My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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