sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
