...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
