Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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