PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
MIDGETS
????
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
