I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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