turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
