The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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