I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
