i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He better not be in your backpack
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
