He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I could fuck to npr.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize