Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
