do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
