The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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