so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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