He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize