i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
