u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
