I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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