I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
