meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize