sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
