My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
