But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
