Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize