its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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