btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm bleeding and have questions
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
