The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
