So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
