super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
