Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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