I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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