you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
