last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
