you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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