So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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