Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just had sex on a roof
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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