I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
