If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
